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About Traditional Art / Student Jeannette HendrixFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Months
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Things I’d never have to say

She fills up a huge hole in my  in my soul where my son once lived. When she goes, I lose them both. The last bit of evidence that I was someone with a full life that had purpose and meaning and one that was needed and not just taking up space. She was proof that I wasn’t the placeholder for something real. Everyone else sees an ugly little dog. To me she’s a life raft. An umbrella in a downpour The cask around a Saint  Bernard’s neck. A warm blanket by the fire in winter. She’s my protector and my goddamn cheerleader!  All when nobody else believed in me. She counts on me and never questions the truth that I will show the fuck up 100%  everygoddamntime! That’s why it breaks my heart when panics every time I leave the room because she loves me that fucking much. She only wants red meat more than she wants to be close enough to touch me. For all of her life but this last 6 months she has been by my side, kickin it, every step of the way. My all day, every day,  road dogg!  Defender of my truth. When my heart bled out into a puddle beneath me for my boy,  she came and crawled into the void that was left in my mothering arms, and she never left. The truth is, I know she never will.  Completely naked and exposed and in more pain than I ever thought one human could bear, she has seen every ounce of my ugliness, and never once looked away. She knows exactly what I look like when I think no one is looking. She is My Mufucker! She sees me. She knows me. She calms me and gives me a reason to get out of bed when I don’t think I can go on. She is my best friend and she takes up too goddamned much space here to just be gone. She’s the only one I’d never have to say any of this to. She’d already know and the thought of not having her beside me, helping me get through this makes me need her even more.
coming
i learned she has cancer today. my best friend is going home.
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Things I’d never have to say

She fills up a huge hole in my  in my soul where my son once lived. When she goes, I lose them both. The last bit of evidence that I was someone with a full life that had purpose and meaning and one that was needed and not just taking up space. She was proof that I wasn’t the placeholder for something real. Everyone else sees an ugly little dog. To me she’s a life raft. An umbrella in a downpour The cask around a Saint  Bernard’s neck. A warm blanket by the fire in winter. She’s my protector and my goddamn cheerleader!  All when nobody else believed in me. She counts on me and never questions the truth that I will show the fuck up 100%  everygoddamntime! That’s why it breaks my heart when panics every time I leave the room because she loves me that fucking much. She only wants red meat more than she wants to be close enough to touch me. For all of her life but this last 6 months she has been by my side, kickin it, every step of the way. My all day, every day,  road dogg!  Defender of my truth. When my heart bled out into a puddle beneath me for my boy,  she came and crawled into the void that was left in my mothering arms, and she never left. The truth is, I know she never will.  Completely naked and exposed and in more pain than I ever thought one human could bear, she has seen every ounce of my ugliness, and never once looked away. She knows exactly what I look like when I think no one is looking. She is My Mufucker! She sees me. She knows me. She calms me and gives me a reason to get out of bed when I don’t think I can go on. She is my best friend and she takes up too goddamned much space here to just be gone. She’s the only one I’d never have to say any of this to. She’d already know and the thought of not having her beside me, helping me get through this makes me need her even more.

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Jeannette Hendrix
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States

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:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2017
Thank you for the :+fav:'s and the :+devwatch:
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:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2016
Thank you for the :+fav:
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:iconjnettie214:
jnettie214 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome. Thank you.
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